Friday October 9th and Saturday the 10th Merri accompanied me to the wonderful Families Supporting Adoption Conference. It was located at the ASU Institute Building. The dinner was held on the top of the parking garage. I was desperately trying to induce labor... Being nearly 36 weeks pregnant with Liam I opted to take the four flights of stairs to the top instead of the elevators, hoping that it would bring on the labor. (No such luck!) However it was funny seeing everyone put to shame by big pregnant me taking the stairs while they waited to hop on the elevator. Friday night we had dinner and entertainment. And there was a wonderful slideshow on some of our amazing birthmoms. Here is a link that shows the wonderful stories of Trisha and Jill. I am so glad they shared them with all of us.
Saturday we arrived and were served breakfast, and received folders with a schedule and various classes throughout the day that we could choose from. It was an all day event Saturday from 8am to 5:45pm with 5 sessions of 6 classes each session to choose from. Here is what my day looked like...
- For Birthparents: What to Expect Post-Placement by Tamra Hyde. Okay, so you've placed a child for adoption, now you can go back to your life, right? Except, for many of us, almost EVERYTHING has changed. It can be an identity crisis and there are often intense emotions attached to your loss. In this class we will discuss the spectrum of possible emotions, edxperiences, and challenges that may be expected post placement. In my years of involvement and observation, as well as in my own edxperience, I have noticed some pit-falls and obstacles that many birth parents face after placement. I have also identified several tools and ideas that can make the transition to normal life a more peaceful, healthy one. We never "get over it" or "move on". Idon't want "closure". But the point of this life is progress! We leave behind the icky but take the good parts with us and we move forward!
- How to Communicate and Negotiate with your Birthparents by Norma Villareal. The relationships we nurture during the adoption process can hellp to set up what the relationship can be after placement. Rough times may arise and knowing how to communicate effectively with your birth parent is essential to a good relationship. Talking about what is expected after placement will make the process less painful.
- For Birthparents: How to Communicate and Negotiate with your Adoptive Couple by Brandi and David Johnson. Open adoption? Closed adoption? Pictures, letters, or visits? Nurturing relationships before, during, and after placement requires a lot of patience and love. Allowing for change along the way requires even more. Talking openly and allowing for change can help facilitate a more peaceful process.
- For Birthfamilies: Adoption Advocacy - Sharing Your Passion for Adoption by Lindsy Redfern. As a birth parent, you feel passionately about adoption and you want to share your experiences with the world. I want to give you some ideas on just how to do that-and I want to hear your success storeis as well! You will leav
e this class with a list of ideas that will work for you and your situation, I promise. :) - For Birthfamilies: Adoptive Couple Panel.
Here are some Pictures of me and some of my favorite Birthmoms at the dinner Friday night.
Heidi, me, Tamra, and Chelsie
Trisha, me, and Norma
Lindsey, Trisha, Me, and Norma
Me eating my BUCKET of icecream ad cobbler.
The beautiful cake Norma made for the conference on Saturday. It was delicious!!! Great work Norma!!!Here is one of the beautiful pictures that was displayed and also in the slideshow Saturday.
"I AM"As I lay I am surrounded by darkness; afraid, not knowing who I am or where I came from. All I know is that I feel alone and forgotten. The feeling of cold nothingness touches my skin and I know I have been tossed aside with the trash. I close my eyes because I am scared...Keeping them closed helps me feel some sense of control. A way to block out the ugliness that is all around me. I am scared that I was tossed aside by someone that didn’t love or care for me. That they put me here; or was it me that put me here? Is it all my fault? Am I to blame? As I lay in this heap of garbage feeling hopeless, just about to give up, I feel the clouds above me part and the sun cut through the darkness and touch my skin. The warm rays enveloped me and I feel at peace, a breath of hope fills and comforts my soul. I opened my eyes to see the source of my peace and my eyes are met with the Son, The Son of God. The great I AM. And at that moment as our eyes lock, I know that HE loves me. I know that...
“I AM NOT THE EXPERIENCE NOR ACTIONS OF MY PARENTS
IT MATTERS NOT HOW I BECAME
BUT THAT I AM
I AM COURAGE
I AM COMPASSION
I AM HOPE
I AM STRONG........I AM HERE
YOU CANNOT DEFINE ME AS I CHOOSE WHO I BECOME
I AM THE FUTURE”
And even if no one else is there for me, HE is always there for me. HE will pull me from the garbage and tell me that I AM HIS child, that I do matter and that I need not worry nor fear any longer because HE will always be there to pull me out. Whether I put myself there or someone else did, HE will save me from the darkness.
Story by Helen Thomas Robson,
“I AM” poem by Cristina Rankin
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