Kalm Down & Take A Step Back

The Lord commanded that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. Who is more of a neighbor to me then my Mother/Family?

Lately I have been struggling with accepting a family member for the way they are. It has been affecting me, as well as her I am sure. I have lost sleep, allowed my attitude to ruin my entire day, been angry, and even cried. I am sure I have allowed this to affect me my entire life, and I am tired of it. I am really going to work on letting it not affect me so much. I will serve her, love her, and do all that I can to not be judgemental but to be loving, and more understanding. At the end of the day I have the ability to choose between being happy, angry, or sad. I have control over my emotions, and how I handle things is up to me. It is her life to live the way she chooses, and I have realized that I may never completely understand her, but I will always love her.

Kontrary To Belief I Made It!!!: My Temple Day

Today's the BIG day!

A day I honestly thought would never take place.

It's not just me that believed this day would never happen.

Ask around...

Anyone who knows me would have told you the same thing.

Actually, they probably did!

March 26, 2011 The best Saturday of my life!

At the beginning of the year I was still attending the Cooley Station Ward. I finished my Temple prep. classes with Brother and Sister Strader in their home, where I instantly fell in love with them. I loved the intimate setting in their home and the wonderful spirit that I felt while there. After I finished up my classes with them, I met with Bishop Porter (that same night January 11, 2011) and received the first part of my recommend. Then on February 2, 2011 I met with my Stake President, President Anderson and went through the second portion of the interviewing process and received my completed recommend. 

Most people go through the Temple immediately following the completion of their recommend. However, I waited 2 months so my entire family could be their with me. Tiffany, Roger, and the kids all came down from Colorado and stayed at Merri and Richard's house to share this amazing day with me.

My Dad, Kade and I came up Friday after work and met Merri and Tiffany at the Church Distribution Center where they helped me prepare and pick out everything I needed to enter the Temple for my first time. It was so nice to do this together. I will never forget it.

Merri and Richard graciously opened up there home to all of us, so that we could all be together. We celebrated Roger's Birthday, and just enjoyed each others company. When it was time to part ways, Natalie and Justin offered to take Kade and Michael to their house for a slumber party. I have to admit it was very nice of them.

Saturday morning we all met back over at Merri and Richard's. 

Tiffany plucked my dreadful eyebrows, and then Natalie did my makeup, and trimmed my eyebrows with a little help from Miss Maggie of course. Together they all made me look and feel beautiful on my special day. It is always nice to be pampered. Thanks guys!!!

Maggie doesn't even need to look apparently while she does makeup!

Since my Mom did not make it to the Valley for me to go through the Temple, all of my sisters got together and nominated Natalie to be my escort. They knew I could never pick between them, so I am so grateful they chose for me. I could not have asked for a better escort. I love you Natalie, and I am so glad we got to share this amazing experience together. We went from sharing a bed growing up to this. 

I love these pictures of Natalie and I together. 

Natalie and I arrived to the Temple before everyone else needed to be there. I honestly felt like I was in Heaven while I was in the Temple. Everyone dressed in white standing throughout the Temple wearing angelic smiles upon their soft faces. They were at every entrance to every room to help me along the way. I got all of my crying out at the very beginning before Natalie and I met up with each other again. Everything that the wonderful Temple workers said to me at the very beginning filled every part of my being that felt hollow or weak. Their words reinforced me and made me feel whole and worthy of every good thing that I have now and am yet to still receive. Word's can't describe how beautiful it was. Almost like the words were perfectly tailored for me and me alone.

When Natalie and I met up again, I was blessed with another wonderful experience. Natalie and I were sitting next to each other, and she grabbed my hand and just held it. She later removed her wedding ring and placed it on my finger. My eyes were still filled with tears. As I looked at my hand through tear filled eyes at the wedding ring on my finger I felt like my spirit was hovering inches over my body, and a warm reassuring feeling that I can't describe in any other way comforted me and let me know that my day to enter the Temple with an amazing man who would be a wonderful Father to Kade and loving companion and friend to me is not too far off, and will one day join me to be sealed as a family for time and all eternity. Heavenly Father must really know how badly I needed that reassurance. 

It was beautiful being in the Temple with the people I love. I am so glad that my Dad, Natalie, Justin, Tiffany, Roger, Merri, Richard, Tammy, Tawna, Brother and Sister Strader, and even a fellow Birthmother Jill (who just happened to be in the same session), all got to be there with me. No empty chairs!!!

I MADE IT!!!

Thanks everyone for supporting me on this eternal life changing day. 

My Dad and his 4 Girls

Natalie, Katie, Dad, Tiffany, Merri

The Clan

I sure love the bond that my sisters and I share. I think we are all pretty neat.

Their unconditional love and good examples played a large role in me making the life changes that were needed to get me into the Temple.

Youngest to Oldest

Katie, Natalie, Tiffany, and Merri

...on the steps of the Mesa, Arizona Temple

The cutest Escort in the Temple that day (Natalie), and I.

One of my biggest Cheerleaders Tamy Scheurn. Thanks for being my shining star through my difficult journey.

Tawna and I.

Tawna seems to be present at all of my most important days/milestones. She was in on Kade's birth and is now here with me in the Temple. Love you Tawna, thanks for being there for me through thick and thin. 

I think I am glowing.

After the Temple Natalie and I hit up Bahama Bucks and had a delightful treat.

We got back to Merri's, and I guess I wore Natalie out because she literally passed out on the couch. You are too cute Nat.

I love you Roger. You have seen me at my worst, and I am proud that you were here to see me at my best. I have always looked up to you so much, and you calling me and you telling me in person how proud you are of me will never stop playing over and over again in my head, because those words coming out of your mouth changed me forever.

I will never forget the time in High School when my Dad picked me up and told me he was disappointed in me! It hurt more than any physical pain I had ever experienced, and for nearly a decade after that experience I lived up to nothing more than those 4 words. 

Having my Dad by my side in the Temple smiling, and telling me that he was so proud of where I am at, and how far I have come, healed the pain I carried with me in my heart all of that time. I am Happy again! I am Me again!

I had to get a picture with the 4 best big Brothers in the World. With these guys as my role models their is no way I can pick me a Dud next time around, especially because they will be doing the picking for me!

Komical: Roger's Birthday/Dance Party

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROGER!

Roger, Tiffany and their three munchkins came down from Colorado Springs to be with me as I went through the Temple for the first time. Well lucky for us we also get to celebrate Roger's birthday with him. We ate Strawberry Short-Cake, surprised him with a Kindle, and then all played Just Dance on the Wii.

Rylee, Ryan, Maggie, Roger, Brigham, Kade, and Michael.

Maggie and Briggs were both smiling as we sang Happy Birthday to Roger, because they had just celebrated their Birthday's, and thought we were singing to them again. Isn't that so cute!!! Look at the grins on their faces. I just love it.

Trying to keep all of the kids happy watching a movie.

I think Roger may be bluffing from this spicy card from Tiffany.

Rogers Kindle. I think Tiffany actually surprised him this time.

These next few pictures are going to make you ROFL! Ha ha look at these two manly men doing Michael Jackson's Thriller on Just Dance for the Wii. LOL This is a night I will never forget. Thanks guys for the comical relief.

Tiffany ROCKED it of course, so it was not fun playing against her because she put us all to shame.

...Roger held his own, and my Dad, well he just looked cute.

I love how all 3 are doing something different

I think this one is my favorite

...or is it this one... LOL, anyways, we need to do this again.

Hahahahahahaha.

Little Michael joined in too, he was awesome!

Guess the score that goes to each player...

Red: Roger

Green: Dad (snicker)

Purple: Tiffany of course

Natalie, me, and Tiffany. 

Don't laugh I already know I can't dance.

Actually, I must admit in all of these pictures it looks like all 3 of us are doing the same thing. Us Thornburg Girls are Unstoppable.

Little Kade started busting a move on the couch. I love you Kademan.

Shake it Kade!

Tonight was a blast. Hope we can all come together again soon.

Komplete Life Makeover!

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about the life I used to lead. I am finally repulsed by all the things of my past. I never thought I would be blessed enough to get this point. I thought everything would be a huge struggle every day into forever, (Alright I am finally gonna use the one word I hate more than any other) but it truly is a "tender" mercy on the lords part that I don't have any of the life sabotaging tendencies nor the desire to repeat them each and every day.

To be honest I have always liked my church, and deep down have always known it is true. I would like to add that being born into the covenant and being a member of our church from the day I was born gave me my roots. Without my parents raising me with this firm foundation I strongly believe I never would have made it to this point in my life. And now in 3 days I will be in the temple. I don't know if looking back to where I was a year ago anyone, let alone myself would have believed I would ever make it to the temple.

I am so excited that this day is here, and that I finally realized with A LOT of time and hard work YOU really can change! Who knew you don't have to act or be what someone makes you out to feel like, or what you feel labeled as for past mistakes. You are more! Believe it or not you can change, and actually find real lasting happiness. I am glad I finally took that leap of faith and realized that I AM MORE then the sum of my past mistakes, and that even I deserve to be happy and enjoy life.

Temple and Eternal Happiness here I come.

Below is a song that has become a fast favorite of mine. I can't count how many times I felt like this girl in the song, but now I finally got it. Hope you will take a second to really read the words, i even have this song on my blog, hope you will listen to it.

YOU ARE MORE

There's a girl in the corner

With tear stains on her eyes

From the places she's wandered

And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?

I'm not who I once was.

And I'm crippled by the fear

That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,

What's been done for you?

Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it

That she's been given new life

But she can't shake the feeling

That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers

And she's rehearsed all the lines

And so she'll try to do better

But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,

But what's been done for you.

This is not about where you've been,

But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,

But what He felt to forgive you,

And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You've been remade

You've been remade.

You've been remade.

You've been remade.

Kake Boss In Training

Tonight at relief society we all learned how to decorate a cake with Fondant. It was a blast! Mine was no where near the best cake but I enjoyed myself and enjoyed the wonderful company. And after all was said and done, it turned out pretty cute.

Kade and I with the cake masterpiece
TASTY

My parents dug into it before I even got a chance, it was gone fast. It tasted better than it looked.

Kade's First Week Back At Pre-School, & Mine At Work

Friday I got Kade all registered for Pre-School. The same daycare that he was at when he stayed with my parents for a month. Also it used to be owned by someone different and was called Climbing High Pre-School, which is the first job I ever had.

He was so excited to go each day. He begged me to go every day. He was enthusiastic the first few days that he went saying he loved it. Well I was not too impressed after his fourth day, and after day five I came home crying to my Mom about how I had to get him out of there. He really is the sweetest kid, and he loves school, but Friday he came home saying that he did not want to go back. He also loves playing outside, and Friday he told Grandma and I that he kept getting really tired and sun burned because all they do is play outside about the entire day.

Here he is in the one good thing that came of the week for him. His cat in the hat and Thing 1 and Thing 2. Pretty cute Kade. Momma sure loves you.

Friday after I picked him up and we got home I researched other pre-schools and and came upon one right by my work and my Dad's office also. We work right by each other which is so nice. Anyways it is called Imagine Pre-School, and it is the same one i went to as a little kid only it was called Young Ones back then. In fact my teacher is still there 21 years later. Imagine that. I am so excited to go tour it Monday on my lunch break. I am nervous to put in my two week notice for kade to leave the preschool because i don't want him to be mistreated. Poor little guy. He needs a perfect school, and I think I may have found it.

My first week at Cochise Eye & Laser as an Ophthalmic Medical Assistant is going so great. I love it there and really enjoy all of the people I get to work with. I never imagined that after not working for nearly 2 years things would be going to smoothly. I am thankful for answered prayers.

Kouldn't Love You More If I Tried

This morning I went in to our medical office at Cochise Eye & Laser for some training, and after that I came home put Kade down for a nap and I went to Tucson to see Dara, Azlyn, and Liam. I have not seen them since Thanksgiving morning, so i couldn't wait to get there this afternoon.

Talking and getting to visit with Dara and her family is always so much fun. I have gotten to love all of them. I got to play with Azlyn (2) and Liam (4 months). He has gotten so big, I could hardly believe it. Getting to visit with Dara and love on her little ones is always much needed and loved. I am so glad Dara and Jim share them with me, and that I get to be a part of their lives.

Liam you are just perfect
Azlyn was so stinking adorable as always. Her aunt and uncle got the cutest little boxer puppy named Kempton (Kemp for short), and Azlyn loved playing with him.
Cute little Liam all bundles up outside

I just love you Liam, you have the cutest face.

Dara getting Liam ready to rinse off in the sink. I love his rolls.

Bath time in the sink. This kid has some killer rolls.

All clean and ready to unwind for bed time.

Dara helped Azlyn hold Kemp

What a big girl

Azlyn honestly had more energy then Kemp. She loved running with him and getting Kemp to chase her. I have never met a child that could outrun a puppy and get him to pass out tired with her still wanting to play and keep going. It was so adorable, if Kemp did not follow her she would say Kemk, She needs you. I love hearing her speak about herself in the third person lol.

Azlyn came up to me right before bed a snuggled for a little bit. It made my night.

I cant get enough of these two. Too bad Kade was sick. He loves getting to see Dara and his baby brother and sister. He talks about them all the time and always prays for their whole family.

Dara and I don't always get to pose just the two of us. So glad we got a picture with each other. She has become my best friend, and love getting to look up to her. I learn so much from her all the time.

I love you all more than words could explain, and Dara your friendship and kind words mean the world to me.

Can't wait to see you all in a few months, this time in the Temple and all together. Thanks for letting me come up and visit.