Krushed!!! Kade's 2nd E.R. visit in the same week!

It was like any other Monday... Kade was playing with his cousins Ryan and Rylee. He went outside and I called after him to close the sliding glass door. Immediately following Kade began crying hysterically. Merri and I jumped off the couch and rushed to his side. His right ring finger had been krushed and was bleeding. Merri scooped him up rushed him to the sink and started rinsing his finger under water while I held him and attempted to comfort the sweet little injured guy. After getting the bleeding to stop we all piled in the car and went to the same E.R. Kade had been in last Tuesday.

We first took x-rays. While waiting for the results of the x-rays, we were sitting in the hall with numerous other patients, the hospital staff did not have enough rooms for all of us. Sweet social little Kade kept going up to all of the patients showing them his hurt finger, and telling them the entire story and that it was broken. When the Doctor finally approached us and gave us the wonderful news that there were no broken bones! Then for the bad news... He told us he was going to have to give Kade a shot to numb his finger and remove his nail to examine the nail bed. Once completing that he would clean it and see if anything else needed to be done to repair the nail bed. Upon hearing the word Shot coupled together with his name, he broke down and began sobbing again. "NO! Please, I do not want a shot", he kept saying. They got us into a room (the same lucky number 13 we were in on Tuesday), and wrapped Kade tightly up in a sheet like a mummy leaving the injured hand and arm out so they could numb up his finger. He was screaming and shaking, frightened to death, and unhappy that he was being restrained. I stood by his head and once again tried to comfort him. It took two grown men besides the Doctor and myself to restrain him, and they had to jab him 10 times with the needle to numb it all the way.

After the traumatising shot, Kade was exhausted and fell asleep within minutes of the Doctor leaving the room to give the shot time to numb his hand completely. This was an answer to prayers, because I did not know how he or I was going to be able to endure watching them rip his little nail out.

Thirty minutes later the doctor returned with two other medical staff and they stood him up asleep and re wrapped him up in the sheet. They tried to wake him up but had no luck in doing so, and i asked them to try and do it while he slept. They all three looked at me like I was nuts and replied that no one would sleep through it. He was completely limp when they stood him up so it took everyone to hold him up and wrap him in case he woke up during the procedure.

Once the doctor was ready to begin I held sleeping Kade and put my head to his head (I could not watch). They removed his nail and cleaned it all up. Once it was clean the Doctor saw that he needed to stitch it up. Kade slept through it all (proving that Doctor's don't always know best! Sometimes moms know a little bit.). When we were all done, we got discharged and I carried my sleeping angel stitched up finger and all to the car.

Kenzie & Katie...Strike back!

Today I went over to MacKenzie's house (I have not seen her in months, since Natalie's wedding). I love that girl!!! Anyways she did my hair which had not been done in nearly a year. I am grateful she was willing to undergo the grueling task. I was scared for anyone that had to deal with my scary hair, but she was brave and took on the challenge. Thanks Kenzie I love my hair. Now I can be seen in a few pictures after having Liam and not be so ashamed.

Kwick trip to the E.R.

Kade was complaining of a sore throat and was loosing his little voice, and we were extremely short on time. However I did not want to ignore his symptoms for any length of time because a few months ago the poor little guy manifested the same symptoms and had Scarlet Fever.

I did not have time to make a doctor's appointment, so we went to the wonderful Gilbert Hospital which guarantees a wait time under 15 minutes. WOW, an E.R. wait under 15 minutes. Everyone has enough time for that. So off we went.

Upon getting to the hospital and checking in, we were escorted back to a room immediately with a doctor, nurse and a tech. Talk about great service. No wait what so ever. Kade was a champ, having to take a strep test (which was negative), and rectal temperature. Poor little guy. He had the best attitude and all the hospital staff loved him. They brought him a purple popsicle, gloves, and a tongue depressor.

We left the hospital happy. With no long waits and no horrible disease. The Doctor said he had a virus that was just beginning and that it's not strep as of yet anyways. Yeah! Thank heavens for nice Doctor's, kwick hospitals, and grape popsicles!

Kwite A Sight!

Oh the beautiful wildlife you can see at Pop and Grandma's house when your adorable 3 year old wakes you up at 5:30 a.m. Kade was standing by my parents front door looking out the window when he pointed and said "come here momma... An animal". I walked over to him and said "wow Kade it's a deer". He had never seen one before, so he did not know what to call it. There were two about the same size within 10 feet of us. What a way to start the day! Good eye Kade!!!

Krude No More!

I am quickly learning that you do not have to be krude to have personality... Well I have always known that, but I have always loved the element of the shock factor. I had this shirt that I wear (normally just around the house), and I was wearing it today. It says "POLICE lay flat on your back and spread them". Funny right? Hmmm. A little distasteful I can see that, but none the less a little funny. Tamy saw it again on me today and said she had to draw the line somewhere, and that the shirt just could not remain in one piece any longer. So out came the scissors and off came the shirt. It now is in many little pieces in the trash. Props must go to both Tamy and myself today. Love ya Tamy! Glad cutting up my shirt brought a smile to your face.

Kuality Friends Become Kuality Family...Our Open Adoption!

Last night in my birthmother group I felt prompted to write a little about my open adoption, as well as about the importance of these groups for any and all birthmothers, wether they have already placed, are looking to place, are undecided, or are planning to single parent. My new case worker Audra heads this group on Thursday evenings out here in the east valley, however there is another one in Mesa on Wednesday evening. When I went through the adoption process for the first time back in January of 2009, my case worker Sharon prompted me to attend some of the birthmother groups. I was not thrilled with the idea, and could not really go anyways since I was on strict bed rest from 24 weeks up until my delivery. To me the group sounded weird and not quite something that I would benefit from. After I had Azlyn I went to the group regularly, and found that I had truly misjudged it. I am so glad that I gave these groups a chance. Everyone in them is so honest... I expected everything to be sugarcoated and no one to really be honest about the struggles they faced before and after placement. I WAS SO WRONG! I love the openness. If any of us are struggling we don't hold back. These support groups are the one place ALL of us girls can go and not feel judged, out of place, and/or alone. It really is all about the support.

A few months after I placed Azlyn I began to shy away from these support groups, quit attending church, pulled away from all of my loved ones, trying to handle all of my emotions and grief on my own. I got caught up in "life" and quickly spiraled downwards! Through all of the trials I have endured throughout my life thus far, if there is anything that I personally have learned it is that for ME to succeed I must never slack when it comes to maintenance. I can never get lax when it comes to my positive supports which include; church, prayer, various support groups through the church and otherwise, family, positive friends/role models, etc... These are all key to me being successful in all my endeavors.

There is not a Thursday that I miss a birthmother goup. This time around while I am pregnant with Liam and preparing for him to join his family I am going to utilize every support imaginable. The placement of Azlyn was beautiful and amazing, and the bond that I share with her parents Dara and Jim is amazing. They have become my family. However this time around before placement I am in a much better place in my life. While I am still nervous for the day when we leave the hospital (that was the hardest time I had to this day when placing Azlyn), I know that Liam will still be a part of my life, and my journey, as Azlyn has always continued to be, and that I will always be a part of Dara and Jims life, and their family.

Our adoption has been so open from day one. We spent wonderful kuality time together while still in the hospital, and since then shared pictures, cards, phone calls, text messages, countless visits, everything you could imagine. After leaving the hospital I saw them numerous times even before they returned to Utah where they live. In fact I will always remember... A week after having Azlyn I received an invite from Dara and Jim to come and hold Azlyn and spend time with them as they packed. To this day they may not know how much that has meant to me. Anyways I joined them and loved every second I was priveledged enough to share with the 3 of them. I remember vividly watching Dara and Jim that day... I have always admired there beautiful relationship, and to this day can't think of a couple I aim to be like more than them. I recall saying to Dara as Jim carried there bags out to load in their car, "I love how you and Jim are together. The way you get along, all of it." To which she replied that they are best friends, and couldn't imagine not being that way. They are spending eternity together and who wants to spend eternity with someone they constatly fight with and do not speak kindly to!?! I loved her response so much because it was so much more than words... It was so clearly in their actions too! One day that will be me:)

The other day Dara posted on her blog about our adoption, and I absolutely loved it and got her permission to publish it on my blog as well. So thanks Dara for sharing this with me.

Open Adoption = Our Adoption!

"Last week Katie and I were talking about how so many people just don't understand our situation. The term "open" adoption seems foreign to so many. And yet it is what we are most comfortable with and feel is bet for our families. I heard the Michael McLean song, "From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours", the other day on the radio and was struck again by the amazing experience that I am about to go through again with Liam. I was YouTubing the song's title and came across many videos of birth and adopted families that had chosen to have open adoptions. They made videos and as I watched them I thought of my experience with Azlyn and soon to be experience with Liam. The videos below reminded me so much of Katie, Azlyn, Jim and I. In fact as I was watching I thought of specific pictures of our experience that I could have put in the place of these girls' pictures.

http://adoptionvoices.com/video/video/show?id3398023%3AVideo%3A33513

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RGIXSZ8tFM&feature=related

In the second video there is a quote from Desha Wood which says, "He is mine in a way that he will never be hers, yet he is hers in a way that he will never be mine, and so, thogether, we are motherhood." That quote summed up the conversation that Katie and I had this past week. I love you Katie and am grateful that you loved my children enough to give them life and allow me to be their mother."

I love you too!!! And the way we have chosen to have our open adoption feels so natural to me. Just like we said on the phone that day... We both know where we stand and the roles that we play. We are so comfortable with how everything is (how it should be), the roles that we each play that we feel no threat from each other, which is why I think so many people don't understand or want open adoptions. I love that Dara is Azlyn and Liam's mother, and that Jim is there father. They ended up in the family they were meant to be with, and I am so glad that I am forever a part of how they came to be there. Love you guys!

Kreepy at 10,000 feet

While packing to go visit their family member Posey in Georgia... I was joking around with Rhett. Rhett is Tamy and Tom's son who is preparing to go on his mission (he should be receiving his call any day now). Rhett is not too keen on flying and this time was to be no exception, it being so close to September 11th and all. After we had talked for a few minutes I cracked a little joke that with his luck he would be seated next to a terrorist. He got a serious look on his face and proceeded to tell me that he would take them down with a fight.

Upon returning to Arizona Tamy had told me that poor Rhett was looking out the window of their plane and made a nervous comment about how he could see lightning and just wanted to close the window shade. She also informed me after I told her of the little crack I had made at Rhett about the terrorist, that it had actually happened. Rhett who was already nervous to be 10,000 ft. up in the air had been seated next to a man who spoke only fluent Arabic. (I wish I had a picture, but I am sure that taking one was the last thing on his mind.) He actually said to the man "Just don't do it!", and that he would put up a fight if he tried anything. Good old Rhett!!! Sorry I jinxed ya. Anyways they had a wonderful trip and made it home safely.