Kruel Words

We all know that I have made plenty of mistakes in my life. However normally I am pretty content only hurting myself. A few months ago I made a mistake in the heat of the moment during a family argument. I was hurt and thought I was justified to lash out at my oldest sister. Instead of keeping the drama in my family I chose to publicly bash her for anyone who had access to my blog to read. 

Merri, I love you and am so so so sorry for the hurtful things I said to you. I did not mean them, I was just lashing out. Saying the worst things I could imagine to hurt you, even though they were not true. I know that I have hurt you, and would do about anything to take it back. You have stood by my side through the most difficult things I have had to go through in my life. Impossibly hard things that I never thought I would ever come out of alive anyways. I love having you as a sister, and though we have countless things we don't see eye to eye on I love and cherish you for all of your strengths. In many ways I envy you ! I have always looked up to you Merri. You have an amazing heart, and are great at everything you do. You are an amazingly patient mother who is constantly doing selfless things to keep your 3 little ones happy and active.

Merri I hate living my life without you in it, and I hope you can forgive me. What I did was hurtful, hateful and cruel. I love you, and never want our family to be split like this again. Thanks for always being there for me in my darkest hours. Love and miss you. Lets fix us!